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about
This song is about the sleep paralysis demon that I was experiencing daily/nightly for about 6 months back in 2017 going into 2018. It created a lot of anxiety about sleep and a number of pieces have been related to the subject. It is no longer a large point of contention but it's effects on the perception of reality are considerable still. That ever-looming static is something I cannot unhear to this day, so violent and loud.
lyrics
I thought you were a figment of my imagination until you started coming by every night
I wish it was the pleasant cliché, somber love stories within the recess of the mind
No.
Malformed and determined to watch me struggle
Two timed tunnel vision display sets in, I can't move now
Kicking and screaming but his mouth is not moving
I am pronounced, for all of the dead to see
In limbo, torn apart at the seams
"I can't move, I'm paralyzed", I said
"Is anyone there...are you at the foot of my bed?"
"Yes", she said, smiling, contorted in tandem, glitching and flailing, laying on her side.
"Can you help me?", I said, "Just shake me, tap me on the shoulder", I've never felt so desperate.
Despite my distress, I wouldn't ask for the external discomfort of full bodied contact. I can't assume to know you, and guiding intelligence or are you a demon in disguise?
Rolling, swaying side to side
Gyration into the swelling of disenfranchised motif
She ignored my lack of assumptions
She is a violent storm, unrevised and no further lack of resolve
Fortified intensity aggravates the leering static
Louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder.
I am awake now.
Assisted in this plight, I believe. How was it in her benefit to help me? Who was she? Why couldn't I move in the first place, and why can't I speak?
I am awake now
But she will visit me tomorrow
It's my sleep paralysis demon, and it's here to seduce me and I don't know how to get [out]
credits
from
Tea At Leisure,
released May 21, 2022
Middle synth was created using a Lorenz Attractor. Audio was real-time converted into a waveform spectrogram map [frequency-based heatmap index] and then mathematically calculated factoring in a ratio of buoyancy and viscosity [Rayleigh number] and another ratio of momentum diffusivity and thermal diffusivity [Prandtl number]. These parameters summed together generated a visual data reference in which the plotted points were then converted to a midi output to generate a fluid-dynamical synthesizer.
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